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The Tree of Life

I had encounters in the Mountain House. They weren’t dreams, or imagination. They were real. And life transforming. They are for all of us, because when one rejoices we all rejoice.

So I invite you into this encounter with me. Take a few deep breaths. See what He shows you.

In encounter, Wisdom brought me to the Tree of Life. The tree stood fully alive on a hill, with branches and leaves and fruit and shade. The sun illuminated him from behind, and made him glisten as the breeze moved his leaves and branches. Every other tree knew him and loved him. They knew he was all life and wonderful goodness, permanent and steadfast. As Wisdom brought me closer, I smelled this wonderful woody fruity fragrance. It made me hunger for his fruit. As we came under his shade, it was like every memory and experience I had had in my life was cooled and refreshed. I felt like I had always been here, or I had always been with him.

I use the pronoun him because he had persona. He was alive, and felt even more alive than me. And ancient, and wise and majestic and strong. I approached him as one would approach a monarch, a sovereign, with humility and honor. As I looked up I could see five branches within my scope of vision. Each branch was dark wood and so very, very strong and solid. I thought of how I wanted to touch a branch, and suddenly I was elevated and could touch the high branch. As my fingers reached out to touch, before they even reached the limb, I could feel this soft energy emanating from him. It was as though he contained so much life, the structure was insufficient to house it.

Then I began to hunger for a taste of his fruit. When suddenly the revelation came that I was touching the humanity of Christ. I was beholding the Incarnate One, who became like us so He could make us like Him. Then, Father said to me, “This is the gift of honor. You have honored the Incarnation in your heart and in your words. And when you honor, and what you honor opens to you. Honor is a door into revelation light.”

I wanted to kiss the branches, I never wanted to leave this moment.

Wisdom had raised me up so I could touch the high branches. Now, she lowered me back to the ground so I could experience his roots and wide trunk. I saw scars and gashes in the trunk – how he had silently endured his tormentors who had beaten his innocent flesh with Roman whips. Now these windows of vulnerability remained visible as a testament to his suffering love.

My beloved is to me the most fragrant apple tree— he stands above the sons of men. Sitting under his grace-shadow, I blossom in his shade, enjoying the sweet taste of his pleasant, delicious fruit, resting with delight where his glory never fades. SOS 2:3

Then he spoke to me and said, “You are a tree, planted by the river…”. And I realized he was referring to Ps. 1:3 He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous.”

This verse takes on such a profoundly deep meaning for me, because now I know I am like him, I am one of his kind, human and divine in one being. I am a tree, and he is The Tree.

The sun behind him seemed to be setting, and I worried that it would get dark and I would have to leave him. I never wanted to leave him. I never wanted to come away from his protection, his strength, his fruit and his shade. Then Wisdom reassured me, like a mother comforting her little child. “There is no night here. There is no darkness, as you know darkness. The light is in you.” This calmed me and took away my worry.

As it is in encounters, there was some communication without speaking. I thought of the fruit, and how I wanted to taste it. Wisdom knew my desire right away. And suddenly she was holding in her hands a pear shaped fruit that was glowing. It was pale green and I wondered if I would start glowing if I ate the fruit, and Wisdom laughed. She said, “You already do!” I was not aware until that moment that I was glowing. But as soon as I realized it, it seemed like I had always known it. And Wisdom was glowing, and the tree was glowing, and everything shimmered. It was love. Love illuminated everything from within. Even the ground where I stood had a soft glow, like a guiding presence, available for me anytime I didn’t know the way.

I took the fruit from Wisdom’s hand and it was warm. I wondered if it had been in the sun. And Wisdom smiled and said, “We are all in the Son.” I knew she meant everything that existed was in Him.

Then I lifted the glowing fruit to my lips and took a bite. It was juicy, and sweet, but not like any fruit I had ever tasted. It felt nourishing, refreshing, full of healing and strength. And then he said, “This is my body, given for you.” I was undone. Here in this place of holy love and light, I was partaking of Him, of Jesus. Of His life and death and resurrection. I was joined to Him. I was and am in Him forever. I am in Him and He is in me.

Wisdom was seated on the ground leaning against the tree. I thought she must spend a lot of time here. She knew my thought again, and said, “ I do. And so can you.” I knew instantly that the reality of this place was now forever accessible to me – as are so many of our encounters – able to be revisited at any moment. Honor is the door of access.

I knew this time was coming to a close, and as I looked down to walk away, I saw a leaf on the ground. It glowed, gently, just like everything else. I picked it up, like you would pick up a sea shell when you took a walk on the beach – a little reminder of a beautiful moment. But, Wisdom again instructed me in a greater reality. “You are a leaf, a healing substance for your nation. You are forever joined to him, and all that He is and has is in you.”

As one does after being in the presence of a king, I did not turn my back to walk away, but instead slowly walked backwards, wanting this glorious vision to remain in my consciousness. And it has, and always will.

I realize now, I was in Eden. It is open for us now, and we can enter its delights.

The Mountains

High in the California mountains I’ve prayed, laughed, cried, read, painted, written, and had spiritual experiences unlike any in my life. More details later.

Thanks for those who prayed for me during this special week.

My biggest takeaway from this retreat is that I can live a life of dedicated hours for payer, writing, art or simply sitting with the Lord in stillness, right in my own home. It’s about choosing how I use my time.

My prayer is that Holy Spirit will help me spend my time in ways that please Him. 💖

A Retreat Journey

I am about to embark on a journey of a lifetime. It is not metaphorical. I will be traveling over 6,000 miles, from the west coast of Ireland to the west coast of the US. The trip will take about 19 hours.

Why? Because heaven has invited me to a special house in the mountains to minister to Jesus. Yes, I can do that here at home. But place has significance. And this place is holy.

So I’m almost all packed, and eager to discover deeper places of His heart. If it seems appropriate, I will share some of it here.

In the meantime, I am singing a little chorus today, “Oh Jesus, I surrender myself, take care of everything, Lord.” And I know He will.

Colliding with Mercy

Mercy. Deep, bloody mercy. A most pure and holy room inside Your heart is full and pulsating with mercy.

So undeserved here in me. So abundant there in You, Jesus. Mercy for the whole world, for all creation.

Atmospheres of mercy, like winds, touching even the smallest leaf inside creation have always been in the created realm.

David said, “where can I hide from Your presence.” I add, “Where can I hide from Your mercy? My presumption collides with Your mercy. My audaciousness crashes into Your tenderness.

Have the victory here in my soul, Jesus. Be the king of my tiny, impoverished soul. Be my bright morning and my glistening starry night. Be my feast and my satisfying drink. Let Your abundance sprout inside of me, and make me Your private garden.

Contemplating the Face of Jesus (Part 2)

Mary Magdalene saw Jesus when He had risen from the dead, but she did not recognize His face. 

“…she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus.” John 20:14

This woman who really knew His face did not recognize Him in His resurrection body.  It was not until Jesus spoke her name that she recognized Him. How could this be? 

Mary had seen His face when Jesus delivered her from seven demons. He was the first man to ever see her for the beautiful child of God that she was. His face, unlike any other man’s face, expressed honor and esteem towards her, rather than lust and contempt. 

But she also saw Jesus’ face covered in blood, dirt and sweat. She had seen His eyes and lips swollen from the beatings. As she stood at the foot of the cross, she saw His face bloated and bruised, lacerated in places from the whips, and so unlike the face of the gentle deliverer she loved with all of her heart.

But the Man who stood before her in the garden of the tomb did not resemble the image of the tortured rabbi she held in her grief. How could she, of all people, not recognize Him? 

Unbelief had temporarily blinded her. She would no longer see Him again with her limited human sight. Her image of His face was of the Crucified. Standing before her was the Resurrection. It was His spoken Word, calling her by name, that opened her eyes. 

So then, from now on, we have a new perspective that refuses to evaluate people merely by their outward appearances. For that’s how we once viewed the Anointed One, but no longer do we see him with limited human insight.” 2 Cor 5:16

The Firstborn from the Dead has a human face that emanates resurrection glory. The face of the God-man Jesus cannot be known with limited human insight. Because His face is the manifestation of the knowledge of God.

Let brilliant light shine out of darkness,” is the one who has cascaded his light into us—the brilliant dawning light of the glorious knowledge of God as we gaze into the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Cor. 4:6

To seek the face of Jesus, is to want to know God intimately. We were fashioned to desire His face. The longings we feel to see His face, originated in His heart. He pours into us a longing for the face to face.  Like Moses, we desire the position of friends who look eye to eye with mutual love. 

When John saw Jesus on the Island of Patmos, he said, “And his face was shining like the brightness of the blinding sun! Rev. 1:16

The light of His face gives light to the stars and life to creation. This is why God gave the commandment to have no other gods before His face. That would mean a loss of intimacy with us, instead of a face to face relationship as covenant companions.

In the Old Covenant, the psalmist prayed,

“I heard your voice in my heart say, “Come, seek my face;” my inner being responded, “Yahweh, I’m seeking your face with all my heart.” So don’t turn your face away from me. You’re the God of my salvation; how can you reject your servant in anger? You’ve been my only hope, so don’t forsake me now when I need you!” Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭TPT‬‬

But now, in this New Covenant, in this miracle of union with Christ, He will never leave us, never turn His face away again.

So, now in this moment, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and open the eyes of your heart. He is waiting for your gaze to meet His.

Contemplating the Face of Jesus (Part 1)

The epicenter of all beauty is the face of Jesus Christ. All beautifully created things originate in His beauty.  The cosmic standard of beauty, and the light of the glory of God are in the face of Jesus Christ.

Every attempt, for over 2000 years, to depict the face of Jesus has fallen short. This is not the lack of artistic talent. In the face of Jesus is the glory and perfect goodness of God. It is no wonder, then, that no human ability can accurately represent Him. From great master artists, to Sunday School books, there is a stereotype of a bearded man with scars and a long white robe. But how do you capture the glory of God?

His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire.” Rev. 1:14

The face of the Resurrected One shines. But more than that, it radiates His otherness – there is no trace of death in Him. From the dawning of the second Genesis that He began when He emerged from the tomb, until today, His face has not aged or tired. He is the Sabbath, the perfect rest of God. His passionate devotion to the Father is in His eyes – they look like flames. All His human features are ordinary. But His glory makes them magnificent. 

Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend. (Exodus 33:11)

Rather than being afraid of the face of Jesus, when we see His face, we know we are absolutely loved. Seeing His face awakens ultimate reality in us. We can finally stop running, because face to face with Him is our true home. He looks so completely satisfied when He looks at us, and His kind face invites us to find all satisfaction in Him. 

When we see His face, it is like knowing His love for the very first time, and yet realizing we have always known it, but been asleep or distracted. Every question, every doubt, every religious demand is quieted by the look of welcoming tenderness on His face. Because, when we see the face of Jesus, we are seeing the face of God. “But we all, with unveiled faces, looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2Cor. 3:18

His face is the face of us all. He took on our humanity in the Incarnation. Yet, His face is the unique and holy image of the Father. Like us in all things but sin, His face felt wind and rain, water for washing and oil for soothing. His face was kissed by a betrayer, bruised by soldiers’ brutality, and restored by Resurrection power. 

This relationship of face to face is what God wanted from the beginning. Didn’t He say, “Let us make man in our image…” and commanded His people not to have any other gods “before His face”.  This was because the only face God wanted before Him was ours. This intimacy of friends, of covenant companions was always God’s plan. There is no word in Hebrew for “presence”. The idiom is “face to face” when referring to standing before God. And in that place of “face to face” we are transformed. “But we do know that when it is finally made visible, we will be just like him, for we will see him as he truly is.” 1 Jn. 3:2

What Gets in the Way

I began watching a YouTube video today of a much loved minister, when another person came on the program who I had seen before. As I watched the interview, I could feel a wall inside me when the guest on the show started to share some things from Scripture. Then I started to leave the video and head to another program when Holy Spirt simply shined a light on my heart-wall.

Because I had judged the guest speaker negatively some time ago, I was unable to receive the light and truth she was releasing on this show. Then, I felt the tender grief of Holy Spirit, Who wanted to release His love through me to this beautiful woman on YouTube. And, He also had something for me in her message. But I could not receive His gift because of my negative judgment.

I didn’t hate this person, I didn’t feel anything much towards her. But I definitely did not love her. I had elevated myself above her, without knowing much about her at all. I had no idea of her pain, struggles, past trauma, or past joys. I simply put up a judgment wall and now both of us lost something. She could have been prayed for by me, and I could have received something from heaven through her. What a waste. What a loss.

If you’re still reading this, please don’t do what I did. Please don’t build walls around your heart. I have. This not only keeps people out (who may be sent by God) but it keeps God out too. I only have one heart. If I build a wall that I think will protect me, that same wall will also isolate me from beautiful, wonderful people and blessings.

So, I’ll end here. I think I need to go watch a YouTube video.

The Kindness of Jesus

Do the riches of his extraordinary kindness make you take him for granted and despise him? Haven’t you experienced how kind and understanding he has been to you? Don’t mistake his tolerance for acceptance. Do you realize that all the wealth of his extravagant kindness is meant to melt your heart and lead you into repentance?  But because of your calloused heart and refusal to change direction, you are piling up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgment is revealed.” Rom. 2:4-5

There is nothing harsh about Jesus. Nothing jagged or damaged that angrily demands anything of us  – He only gently invites us in. There is a tenderness inside His power. We expect rebuke, but He comes with compassion. We expect punishment, but He brings restoration. 

He knows the most intimate thoughts of humanity, even the most vile and perverted. Yet He cherishes all of us. It is this undeserved and unconditional tenderness that leads us to repentance. His patient kindness conquers and melts the hardest heart. He is so eager to express His extraordinary kindness that He offers it to all, at every turn. His default is mercy, for who can stand before Him on the Judgment Day without it?

When Moses encountered the I AM in the wilderness, “…the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in faithfulness and truth;”

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭34‬:‭6‬ ‭NASB

But which one of us would offer mercy, new every day, to those who reject us, or curse us or hate us? Yet, He kindly holds out His holy heart for just the moment the prodigal will come to his senses. He offers His magnificent kindness to come along side the degenerate who wants to be free.

The kindness of Jesus is the bright star that can lead you home to His heart. Never consider it weakness on His part.  It is our saving strength, and the power that holds the universe together.  

Let His extravagant compassion melt your heart and lead you to change your ways. He’s on your side. He wants you to be free. This is the time to let His kindness lead you home to love. But if you reject it, we are all warned that we are piling up wrath for the day of judgment. 

So, say yes to His kindness, beloved. He is not going to hurt you; He wants to save you. He is not going to lecture you; He is going to sing over you. He is not going to shame you; He is going to call you His own.

Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God.” Rom. 5:2 TPT

Taken from “Contemplations of Jesus” – my upcoming book, due Fall 2025

Turn aside from all else. 

This is the secret of encountering Jesus. He is already fully with us. He could not be more with us. But this turning aside is our intentional, intense, singular gaze at Christ within. 

When precious Holy Spirit breathes on our weak hearts He carries us into the chamber awareness of God’s presence, and helps us recognize Christ in us. This is why He is called The Helper. We cannot do this without His great and loving help. Even if we are not hungry for Him, even if we are not filled with longing, even if our hearts feel cold, if we will simply ask, He will provide the fire from heaven. He always says yes to the feeblest cry for more.  

Like Moses in the desert, we turn aside to behold the mystery of the One who burns with fiery love. It was when Moses made this choice to turn aside, that God called out to him. This is our greatest experience, to hear His voice, to enjoy sweet communion with Him, to be completely preoccupied with His beauty. As we slip away from all other distractions and demands, He becomes our life’s  magnificent obsession.  When we say, “Come Lord,” it is not because He is not here. It is just a realization that He is here. And saying, ‘Come,” is giving a voice to our innermost longing and utmost welcome of His beautiful Person.

For we come to God in faith knowing that he is real and that he rewards the faith of those who give all their passion and strength into seeking him.” Hebrews 11: 6