I was sitting in an airport waiting for my flight. I had been reading the familiar verse in John 14 , “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. Not as the world gives, give I unto you.” John 14:27)
“Can I leave peace with someone?” I asked Him. And suddenly my heart was overwhelmed with His peace and joy. Yes! I could leave, impart, release His peace into the atmosphere of wherever I go.
When the gate attendent announced it was time to board, I stood up and looked down at my chair. I silently prayed, “I leave Your peace on this chair. Lord, I ask that whoever sits in this chair next will be overcome by Your peace and love. ” As I joied the queue at the gate, I contiinued to silently pray for the next person who would sit where I had been.
This is powerful! We can leave His peace in restaurants, busses, trains, shops, everywhere we go that someone else will be there after we leave. Imagine if we all did this all the time. “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me” (from the Prayer of St. Francis)
Using the word FELLOWSHIP as an acronym, this is a prayer of the heart to know Holy Spirit more intimately. The format is based on a prayer by Mike Bickle. The bible quotes are taken from The Passion Translation.
F– FEAR OF GOD
Holy Spirit of Truth, teach me more about You; how You work and how You move, so that I can walk around and walk onward in Your truth, until everything within me brings honor to Your name, and I become true and love the truth. (Ps. 86:11 TPT) Let me continue to gaze upon Your face until I see You for who You really are. As I discover what pleases You, “Then I will awaken with Your form and be fully satisfied.” (Ps. 17:15 TPT)
Grant me the angelic activity that accompanies all who fear You – that those ministering spirits would encircle me, empower me, and show me how to escape. (Ps. 34:7 TPT) Let me explore the grandeur of Your great love for all those who fear You. (103:11 TPT) your endless love that stretches from one eternity to the other, Unbroken and unrelenting toward those who fear You And those who bow face down in awe before You, O Lord! (Ps.103:17)
E – ENDURANCE
Holy Spirit, grant me endurance, especially in prayer. That I would be energized with all Your explosive power from the realm of Your magnificent glory. (Col. 1:11 TPT) Fill me with Your great hope and joy, that I may run the race, that I may not grow weary, and that I may finish well. Let me endure hardships and persecution by the power of divine love.
Let my weakness lean fully on Your strength so I will not lose heart. When I am tempted to give up, carry me through with Your encouragement. Grant me Your vision of my life, so I will not fall short of the prize of the high calling. Be my stamina, be my endurance, be my resolve to never give up and never give in to the enemies of the cross.
L- LIGHT OF GLORY
Holy Spirit, let me see the light of Your glory and encounter the glory realm. Let me encounter You in dreams, visions, angelic visitations, manifestations of light, fire, wind as You gave to Moses, Isaiah, Ezekiel and John.
Let the light of Your glory illuminate my life and cause me to dream with You. Let me be a carrier of Your glory, and send me into the dark places of this world, so blind eyes can see and prisoners can be set free.
Flood me with the expectation of glory (Col. 1:27 TPT) in the earthly realms as Your kingdom advances in and through my life.
So illuminate my soul, that the outshining of Your glory from me, will heal the sick as it did through Peter. (Acts. 5:15)
Teach me how to function in the glory realm with You, to overcome darkness with light, to overcome evil with good, and to overcome fear with love.
L – LOVE
Holy Spirit, release Your influence over me to give me a profound revelation of Your love. Let me come to know You fully, as you impart to me the deepest spiritual understanding of Your ways. ( Phil. 1:9 TPT) Let Your love in me overcome all fear. Let Your love in me activate faith and bring it to perfection. (Gal. 5:6. TPT) Let Your love in me empower discernment, so that I see others through Your eyes of perfect love.
Fill me with Your love more and more until it overflows, in love back to Jesus and to others.
Let the same love that You have for Your Son be in me. (John 17: 26) Show me how to love the one You put in front of me every day.
O- ONE THING LIFE FOCUS
Holy Spirit, I choose to spend quality time with You and to cultivate and inward gaze toward You. Alert me when I lose this focus.
Call my heart to attend to You, listen to You and learn from You. Show me how to make all other demands for my attention wait their turn, as I put You ahead of everything. Teach me how to order my life this way.
Show me how to steward the hours You give me each day with You as my highest priority. Help me schedule prolonged times alone with You, as well as carve out minutes of every hour just to briefly gaze at You.
Help me, O Helper, align my life circumstances so I can walk this out. Anoint my times with You, that I may feel Your love and feel desire for You and for Your Word.
W- COUNT ME WORTHY
(Faithfulness unto fullness) Strengthen me, Divine Strengthener, to walk in such faithfulness that You consider me worthy to walk in my highest calling in this age and in the age to come.
I need Your help to see and gain victory over the blind spots in my life. Help me in every area to acknowledge that I only see in part. And grant me the grace of humility to admit when I am wrong.
S- SPEECH
Holy Spirit, be the Guard over my mouth. (Ps. 141:3) Free me from defensive, angry and foolish speech. Heal the wounds in my heart, so that from it flows life and blessing. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You. (Ps. 19:14) Let my words become beautiful gifts that encourage others by speaking words of grace to them. (Eph. 4:29 TPT)
Let Your word gifts of wisdom, knowledge, prophecy, tongues and interpretation of tongues (1 Cor. 12:6-10) be full in my life for Your glory, for the advancing of Your kingdom and for the common good.
H – HUMILITY
Holy Spirit, I want to learn from You how to walk in lowliness. I take Your easy yoke of humility and lowliness of heart (Matt. 11:29) on my life in my attitudes, speech and actions. Draw me always into Your attitudes, Your words and Your actions.
May I qualify for the grace You give the humble, by humbling myself. And may I enjoy the companionship of being yoked with You.
Help me to have tender humility and quiet patience , always demonstrating gentleness and generous love toward others, especially toward those who may try my patience. (Eph. 4:2)
I – INSIGHT INTO INTIMACY
Holy Spirit, You are the intimacy of the Godhead. Lead me into deep intimacy with You and with the Word of God. Let me enjoy companionship with Your ways and Your will.
Give me wisdom that I may intimately follow Your creative leadership. Let me partner together with You in every issue in my life, including finances, schedules, emotions, work, circumstances, health, and relationships. Give me new ideas flowing from Your unlimited creativity so that my life reflects Your presence within me.
Lead me daily to the private place reserved for the lovers of God, where they sit near You and receive The revelation-secrets of Your promises. (Ps. 25:14 TPT)
P- PEACE AND JOY
Holy Spirit, strengthen my heart with supernatural peace and joy that overpowers fears, anxiety, phobias and addictions. Let Your wonderful peace that transcends human understanding be the answer to all my questions. Guide my heart with Your peace.
Stillness is not simply the quieting of sound or action, or even thought. It is a yielding to love. Words become inadequate and movement becomes unnecessary.
Stillness is not a mere momentary setting aside what occupies and distracts us. Although that is a good beginning. It is a humble bow to the beauty of the Trinity, an inner gaze of love that human language cannot express. Perhaps the deepest stillness begins with a gasp of awe.
Silence is external. It is ceasing of sound. Stillness is not a ceasing, but a welcoming of mystery, like the earth welcomes the night.
Be still and know that I am God.
True stillness, is an unearned gift of God; a tender grace where our souls submerge into the ocean of His love. Like a mother soothing her infant with her heartbeat, we rest our souls into the One who created us, and are quieted by His faithfulness. Striving, restlessness, the sense of urgency and duty – these all become muted and muffled. The external noises are the clamor of human need all around us and the urgency of worldly crisis and chaos.
But even a moment of stillness can reorient our soul like a compass. Shoulders lower, hands open. Eyes close. Breath deepens. And we shift from what we can do to who we are. This is the eternal calm that nourishes our innermost being. This is the place of union with the Holy Spirit. Fear does not speak here, shame cannot enter. Guilt has no influence. Anger has no fuel. Only love saturates this atmosphere of stillness.
Stillness is the inner chamber of encounter, of intimate friendship with God. He waits for us to enter in.
I used to think that my prayer time consisted of the hour or two spent alone in my room, sometimes in stillness and silence, or reading the Word, or worshipping with music, or intereceding for others. Then the clock would remind me that my family needed my attention, and I would go on about my day.
But I always felt I was leaving something precious behind. That intimate place of communion with Jesus. Until one day, as I was leaving my room, I heard the Lord say, “Now come pray in a different way.”
It was the beginning of learning that changing diapers, doing laundry, helping with homework, holding hands, and a list too long of things I did all the time – that these were prayers of actions, works of mercy, touches of grace. If Christ truly does live in me, then what I touch He is touching. Where I go, He is going with me. What I do, He is doing with me. He always wants partnership with me. He is always attentive to my quietest prayer.
This is how my life has become worship. And all I do has become prayer.
When you create, paint, write, play music, invite Wisdom to live with you. Fall in love with her and let your romance spill out onto the canvas, the notebook, the guitar strings, the piano keys.
The discovery of your authentic self is worth the cost of the journey. You begin with the instruction of others. Copy them. Then proceed to mastery of your craft. This may take years of faithful, even daily practice. Do it all as worship to the Creator of all.
Fail as much as you need to. Make a mess. Wander deserts where you become convinced you have nothing to offer. Forget perfection. Just create.
And then the day will come – almost taking you by surprise – when you write some words and you realize, “Wow, I didn’t know that was in me” Or you write a melody that makes you weep. Or you paint a picture that makes your heart soar.
That’s the moment you realize that you are no longer an echo. but a clear unique voice. That is the moment you value all those frustrating hours you tried to create what your spirit knew, but your mind couldn’t quite reach, and your hands couldn’t craft.
This is convergence. This is authenticity. This is the real you.
“Do the riches of his extraordinary kindness make you take him for granted and despise him? Haven’t you experienced how kind and understanding he has been to you? Don’t mistake his tolerance for acceptance. Do you realize that all the wealth of his extravagant kindness is meant to melt your heart and lead you into repentance? But because of your calloused heart and refusal to change direction, you are piling up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgment is revealed.” Rom. 2:4-5
His kindness radiates from His beautiful heart. As our damaged souls breathe a sigh of desperation, His kindness comes, invisible but potent. He is confident that even a touch of His magnificent kindness is able to soften a hard heart.
Oh the joy He feels when His kindness is received by damaged people. Feeling completely unworthy of anything kind, wehave isolated ourselves from love. But when we hear the gentle knock of His kindness, we can dare to peek out and see if help has finally come.
His kindness carries our wounded hearts, and steadies our confused minds. Those who have been assaulted and abused understand self-protection and a life-style of fear. But the kindness of Jesus has nothing harsh or jagged in it. It never will.
His kindness is wrapped in patience, and He lovingly waits for us to begin to trust again.
We expect rebuke, but He comes with compassion. We expect punishment, but He brings restoration.
He knows the most intimate thoughts of humanity, even the most vile and perverted. Yet He cherishes all of us. It is this undeserved and unconditional tenderness that leads us to repentance. He is so eager to express His extravagant kindness that He offers it to all, at every turn. His default is mercy, for who can stand before Him on the Judgment Day without it?
When Moses encountered the I AM in the wilderness, “…the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in faithfulness and truth;”
Exodus 34:6 NASB
Which one of us would offer mercy, new every day, to those who reject us, or curse us or hate us? Yet, He kindly holds out His holy heart for just the moment the prodigal will come to his senses. He offers His magnificent kindness to come along side the degenerate who wants to be free.
The kindness of Jesus is the bright star that can lead us home to His heart. May His extravagant compassion melt our hearts and lead us to change our ways. He’s on our side. He wants us to be free. May His kindness lead us home to love. How can we refuse such a beautiful gift?
He is not going to hurt us; He wants to save us. He is not going to lecture us; He is going to sing over us. He is not going to shame us; He is going to call us His own.
“Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God.” Rom. 5:2 TPT
I had encounters in the Mountain House. They weren’t dreams, or imagination. They were real. And life transforming. They are for all of us, because when one rejoices we all rejoice.
So I invite you into this encounter with me. Take a few deep breaths. See what He shows you.
In encounter, Wisdom brought me to the Tree of Life. The tree stood fully alive on a hill, with branches and leaves and fruit and shade. The sun illuminated him from behind, and made him glisten as the breeze moved his leaves and branches. Every other tree knew him and loved him. They knew he was all life and wonderful goodness, permanent and steadfast. As Wisdom brought me closer, I smelled this wonderful woody fruity fragrance. It made me hunger for his fruit. As we came under his shade, it was like every memory and experience I had had in my life was cooled and refreshed. I felt like I had always been here, or I had always been with him.
I use the pronoun him because he had persona. He was alive, and felt even more alive than me. And ancient, and wise and majestic and strong. I approached him as one would approach a monarch, a sovereign, with humility and honor. As I looked up I could see five branches within my scope of vision. Each branch was dark wood and so very, very strong and solid. I thought of how I wanted to touch a branch, and suddenly I was elevated and could touch the high branch. As my fingers reached out to touch, before they even reached the limb, I could feel this soft energy emanating from him. It was as though he contained so much life, the structure was insufficient to house it.
Then I began to hunger for a taste of his fruit. When suddenly the revelation came that I was touching the humanity of Christ. I was beholding the Incarnate One, who became like us so He could make us like Him. Then, Father said to me, “This is the gift of honor. You have honored the Incarnation in your heart and in your words. And when you honor, and what you honor opens to you. Honor is a door into revelation light.”
I wanted to kiss the branches, I never wanted to leave this moment.
Wisdom had raised me up so I could touch the high branches. Now, she lowered me back to the ground so I could experience his roots and wide trunk. I saw scars and gashes in the trunk – how he had silently endured his tormentors who had beaten his innocent flesh with Roman whips. Now these windows of vulnerability remained visible as a testament to his suffering love.
“My beloved is to me the most fragrant apple tree— he stands above the sons of men. Sitting under his grace-shadow, I blossom in his shade, enjoying the sweet taste of his pleasant, delicious fruit, resting with delight where his glory never fades. SOS 2:3
Then he spoke to me and said, “You are a tree, planted by the river…”. And I realized he was referring to Ps. 1:3 He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous.”
This verse takes on such a profoundly deep meaning for me, because now I know I am like him, I am one of his kind, human and divine in one being. I am a tree, and he is The Tree.
The sun behind him seemed to be setting, and I worried that it would get dark and I would have to leave him. I never wanted to leave him. I never wanted to come away from his protection, his strength, his fruit and his shade. Then Wisdom reassured me, like a mother comforting her little child. “There is no night here. There is no darkness, as you know darkness. The light is in you.” This calmed me and took away my worry.
As it is in encounters, there was some communication without speaking. I thought of the fruit, and how I wanted to taste it. Wisdom knew my desire right away. And suddenly she was holding in her hands a pear shaped fruit that was glowing. It was pale green and I wondered if I would start glowing if I ate the fruit, and Wisdom laughed. She said, “You already do!” I was not aware until that moment that I was glowing. But as soon as I realized it, it seemed like I had always known it. And Wisdom was glowing, and the tree was glowing, and everything shimmered. It was love. Love illuminated everything from within. Even the ground where I stood had a soft glow, like a guiding presence, available for me anytime I didn’t know the way.
I took the fruit from Wisdom’s hand and it was warm. I wondered if it had been in the sun. And Wisdom smiled and said, “We are all in the Son.” I knew she meant everything that existed was in Him.
Then I lifted the glowing fruit to my lips and took a bite. It was juicy, and sweet, but not like any fruit I had ever tasted. It felt nourishing, refreshing, full of healing and strength. And then he said, “This is my body, given for you.” I was undone. Here in this place of holy love and light, I was partaking of Him, of Jesus. Of His life and death and resurrection. I was joined to Him. I was and am in Him forever. I am in Him and He is in me.
Wisdom was seated on the ground leaning against the tree. I thought she must spend a lot of time here. She knew my thought again, and said, “ I do. And so can you.” I knew instantly that the reality of this place was now forever accessible to me – as are so many of our encounters – able to be revisited at any moment. Honor is the door of access.
I knew this time was coming to a close, and as I looked down to walk away, I saw a leaf on the ground. It glowed, gently, just like everything else. I picked it up, like you would pick up a sea shell when you took a walk on the beach – a little reminder of a beautiful moment. But, Wisdom again instructed me in a greater reality. “You are a leaf, a healing substance for your nation. You are forever joined to him, and all that He is and has is in you.”
As one does after being in the presence of a king, I did not turn my back to walk away, but instead slowly walked backwards, wanting this glorious vision to remain in my consciousness. And it has, and always will.
I realize now, I was in Eden. It is open for us now, and we can enter its delights.
High in the California mountains I’ve prayed, laughed, cried, read, painted, written, and had spiritual experiences unlike any in my life. More details later.
Thanks for those who prayed for me during this special week.
My biggest takeaway from this retreat is that I can live a life of dedicated hours for payer, writing, art or simply sitting with the Lord in stillness, right in my own home. It’s about choosing how I use my time.
My prayer is that Holy Spirit will help me spend my time in ways that please Him. 💖
